It’s funny how people often see us so differently than we see ourselves. Have you even noticed this?
Let me give you an example. Years ago when I was with American Express Financial Services, which is now Ameriprise, I secured a $10,000 Platinum Sponsorship from AMERICAN EXPRESS for the women’s economic club which is now known as INFORUM.
This was a leadership organization in the city with over 1500 members from all the leading companies. They invited me to a private networking event for all the board members and sponsor representatives. I still remember walking into that room and feeling really out of my league. I looked fabulous, had a gorgeous suit, great hair, nails, jewelry, but inside, I felt like I was out of place and that they could see right through me.
As I left the event, I remember thinking, “These women acted like I was a Big Wig – a Vice president of American Express”. I was astonished, excited and confused. But I kept showing up and every time, I became more and more confident. When you are a corporate sponsor, you get to sit at special tables with other VP’s and get invited to private pre or post networking events with famous speakers and are invited to be on committees.
The reason I am sharing this story is that over the years, I have noticed that many high-level speakers, performers, authors and musicians actually get ill before a performance. I’ve heard actors and speakers share their stories of “self doubt” and how they got through it to the next level. Over the last 5 years, I have helped hundreds of women identify their dis-empowering beliefs and where that memory or experience that caused it is stored in the body. It’s normally something that we experienced a long time ago…and so often it’s not even true anymore, but boy when we are asked to stretch, to take that leap, that little girl inside of us pops right up and says, “STOP, you might get hurt! Who are you kidding? You’re not ready!”
And you know what? Maybe you are not ready today, but you sure can get ready. The secret is to simply notice what that belief is and to let it go. Acknowledge that little girl inside of you that she is safe, she is loved, and that you are ready to release those beliefs.
Now it may be harder than just that, that’s why there are coaches, therapists, programs and exercises you can do to release those beliefs. So today, I want to give you an exercise that you can do after the show. In fact, if you visit www.smartwomenscoaching.com, you can download the free workbook and video for “How to Breakthrough your Fears and Step into your Brilliance”, where I give you 5 exercises that will help you increase your confidence. So here is the first one:
1. Make a list of EVERYTHING that has contributed to the value of your work. Be sure to include things like:
- Training and apprenticeships
- Schooling, degrees, etc.
- Life experiences
- Natural talents and skills and talents you’ve honed & developed over time
- Systems you’ve created (Signature Systems)
- Books you’ve written
- Positions you’ve held
- People you’ve helped and specific results they’ve achieved.
- What clients and other people in your life value about you
- What you value and cherish about yourself
- Anything else that you want to put down!!
Write your list on paper (continue on back if you need more room) and allow yourself some quiet time, to go into a meditative state.
2. Then read the list out loud, slowly and carefully, being proud of your accomplishments and letting every word sink in.
- Now put a price tag on everything that you have listed and add it up.
- How do you feel now?
Now I actually had a bout of doubt a few years ago, when I was thinking ahead at what I wanted to accomplish in the next year, and I immediately said to myself, “Ok Katana, get into your office and print out that workbook now” I went in and did this exercise and then when I turned to page two, and did that exercise, I began to laugh hysterically, because in the second exercise, I have you pay attention to your thoughts and what you tell yourself for a few days, and to write down thoughts, ideas and phrases that keep coming up and how it’s dis-empowering you.
When I did this, my thought was, “I don’t know enough to do what I wanted to do…” then I went back and looked at what I had written on page one and the whole page was filled up and I saw that I had invested almost $200,000 in coaches, programs and training in my career!
Please visit www.smartwomenscoaching.com and download these exercises – you can even watch the video – but do them and then remember others often see us so differently than we see ourselves and that’s okay. The secret is to realize you are not alone…no matter how smart, rich, thin or successful a woman is – almost everyone has these self limiting beliefs, and it’s normal, and their probably not even true anymore. You can release them and you don’t have to do this alone. Reach out to a coach, listen to our interviews from this show and reach out women in your community and start talking about this and supporting each other.